What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
