just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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