Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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