do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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