During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
