Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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