Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
