Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
