dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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