What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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