Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
