hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
