her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
