Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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