Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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