Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
