i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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