Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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