The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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