So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
