I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
