you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
