When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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