Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
