Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
