Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
