used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
