So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
