quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
your like the ambassador to my penis.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
