Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
