He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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