Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize