I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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