I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
