Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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