I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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