the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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