Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We need to get me chipped asap
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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