I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
