He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Randomize
