the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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