it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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