What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
