i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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