Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
