Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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