So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
