u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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