i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
