The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
