Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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