Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
