Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
