like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
