And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
