She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize