My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
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at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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