the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
