just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
