White coat. Heels.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
