i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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