I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
