tell your sister to shave her snatch
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
