her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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