Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm sobbing to NWA
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
