how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize