You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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