I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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