There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
